You’re hanging around the New York City subway as an underpaid FBI agent in Samuel Fuller´s ‘Pickup on South Street (1953)’ and let classified information slip through your fingers? Because some pickpocket steals the bag containing the desired microfilm right under your nose? And you have no idea who the guy is? No problem! You need a police informer! One of our top notch stoolies is Moe Williams (Thelma Ritter). Keep on reading for Classic Movie Ratings´ guide on becoming a snitch yourself.
FBI agent Zara (Willis Bouchey): “Who’s Moe?”
Police Captain Dan Tiger (Murvyn Vye): “Hello, Moe.”
Moe Williams (Thelma Ritter): “Who’s the creep? What’s he in for? He looks like a second-story cat thief. I got a polka-dot job that was just made for your personality, Tiger.”
Tiger: “We gotta get quick action.”
Moe: “Everything around here is always an emergency. Hey. This got something to do with homicide?”
Tiger: “No.”
Moe: “I got no killers on my table. I’m gonna stay in business long enough to feed this kitty.”
Tiger: “How’s she doing?”
Moe: “Gettin’ fat. I got almost enough to buy the stone and the plot.”
Tiger: “If you lost that kitty, it’s potter’s field.”
Moe: “This I do not think is a very funny joke, Captain Tiger.”
Tiger: “I just meant you ought to be careful how you carry your bankroll.
Moe: “Look, Tiger, if- if I was to be buried in potter’s field … it’d just about kill me. I got a hole picked out on Long Island. It’s private. You gotta be screened before they’ll let them put you in there. That’s how exclusive it is.”
Moe: “What’s the score?”
Tiger: “Don’t know yet. We’re looking for a cannon who binged a girl on the subway for a wallet.”
Moe: “Well, ain’t he pigeonholed with the moll-buzzers?”
Tiger: “No. And we haven’t got time to go through all those files I thought maybe you knew of some first-rate grifters who’ve been working the subway for the last twenty-four hours.”
Moe: “I happen to know a couple of live cannons that’s been playing the subway the last week. Business has been droppin’. You the victim’s old man?”
Tiger: “No, he’s the big thumb.”
Moe: “A stripe job would give you more personality, mister. Did you get a good look at the grifter?”
Zara: “Yes. Uh, medium height …”
Moe: “Ah, medium. Short, tall, light, dark, fat, skinny. Thousands of cannons look like that. It’s the technique. Every one of them’s got his own trademark.”
Moe: “Ah, look what that does for him, Tiger. It’s yours for a buck.”
Zara: “All right.”
Moe: “Uh, tell me, mister, when’d this happen?”
Zara: “A couple of hours ago.”
Moe: “Was he standing to the left of her, the right of her or behind her?”
Zara: “Behind her. Then he moved around and faced her.”
Moe: “Carrying a newspaper?”
Zara: “Yes.”
Moe: “Rolled up or folded?”
Zara: “Folded, I think.”
Moe: “What do you mean, you think? What kind of a big thumb have we got here, Tiger? Listen, mister, you gotta be sure. I tell ya, all these cannons have their own way of doing things.”
Zara: “All right, all right. It was folded.”
Moe: “The top side, was it the front page or the classified ads?”
Zara: “Classified.”
Moe: “Was he a southpaw?”
Zara: “No, he used his right hand. He held the paper in his left.”
Moe: “Did he hold it an angle, like this?”
Zara: “Yes.”
Moe: “Did you see him close the purse?”
Zara: “Yes.”
Moe: “Did he put the paper over it like this when he closed it?”
Zara: “Yes.”
Moe sings: “And the violins were soft and sweet. And so was I.” Moe says: “I know.”
Tiger: “Mr. Zara, wait outside.”
Zara: “Well, but –
Tiger: “It’ll take me just a minute.”
Tiger: “Moe, we gotta work fast. Look, let’s not go into that again.”
Moe: “Look, what do you want from me, Tiger? Do I personally raise the price on hamburgers and pork and beans and frankfurters? Is it my fault that the cost of living is going up? These are the prices as of this morning. When the cost of living goes up, my prices go up. When the cost of living goes down, my prices go down. In my book, the price on the board for a cannon is, uh … 50 dollars.”
Tiger: “50 dollars? I told you before. We got no kitty.”
Moe: “And you’re such a millionaire’s salary that you can afford to pay me for all my tips?”
Tiger: “35 dollars.”
Moe: “Tell you what I’ll do, Tiger. I’ll give you the names of eight cannons that fit the job. And I’ll bet you 38 dollars and 50 cents that one of them buzzed this moll’s wallet.”
Tiger: “I’ll bet you 38.50 you’re wrong.”
– Complete silence –
Tiger: “Mr. Zara.”
Zara: “Yes?”
Tiger: “Skip McCoy. For a three-time loser who’s been out only a week … he’s begging for a fourth conviction.”
Moe: “Well, he’s gotta live, too.”
Tiger: “There’s one cannon I’d like to see get the chair.”
Zara: “That’s the man.”
Tiger: “We haven’t even got a lead on him.”
Moe: “So you don’t know, Tiger. Thought you knew everything about everybody.”
Tiger: “Ah, he hasn’t been out long enough to settle. I know how he operates. He’s holed up somewhere. A smart cannon lives quietly … don’t advertise when he’s just scored on a job. Especially an ex-con like Skip. He always had a knack for living in out-of-way places – places hard to find.”
Moe: “It’s gonna be pretty hard to run him down, the places he picks. Might take you almost a week to run him down.”
Tiger: “What are you angling for, a side bet?”
Moe: “Well, every extra buck has a meaning on its own.”
Tiger: “It just so happens I haven’t got a red cent left.”
Moe: “Just so happens I know where he’s shacked up.
Tiger: “That’s part of the bet.”
Moe: “Listen, Tiger … do you realize that the cost of living has gone up fifty percent?”
Tiger: “Moe, I got no more time.”
Moe: “Then what are you stalling for? Why don’t you make me a pitch?”
Tiger: “Next time I’ll give you odds – two to one.”
Moe: “It’s a promise?”
Tiger: “Yeah.”
Moe: “Well, all right, what are we standing here for gibbling and gabbling?”
Looking for more Noir Jobs?
Check out my other post:
https://classicmovieratings.com/jobs-in-noir-movies-claims-man/
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